SINK OR SWIM – YOU CHOOSE

DECISIONS SHAPE OUR DESTINY

If you are amongst the men and women born in the 60s to the 80s then you will agree with me that the one important skill that most of our parents did not teach us was decision making. 

We were told what to eat, what to wear, what to study, what to question and what to do. And all that we had to do was to follow what we were told.

So when we became adults we were totally comfortable with not taking our own decisions and letting someone else take them for us. 

Taking our decisions meant that we had to take ownership, we had to take responsibility for our actions which were difficult things to do. The easier option was letting someone else decide for us so that we could pass on the blame of all that did not go well in our lives to our decision makers.

So here were these boys and girls who now grew up into men and women! 

As these boys became men, the storyline given to them as kids was that when they grew big they would be the breadwinners of the family and so would be responsible to earn money and take care of their families. And so when these boys became men this is what they did. 

And as these girls became women, the storyline given to them was that when they grew big they would get married to men who would be breadwinners of the family and would be responsible to earn money and take care of their families. And so when these girls grew up to be women this is what they did. 

Neither the men nor the women were taught how to take decisions as kids, but when the boys grew up to be men they were expected to take care of the money and so they had no option but to learn. But there was no such expectations from the women. 

So when these boys were thrown into the deep waters and it was left to them to swim to the shore or sink they worked hard and tried their best. Some did a good job and survived and came to the shore, while others tried hard, struggled but didn’t quite make it. 

The women on the other hand were told that the men would save them. They would be their rafts. They would help them swim to safety. So the women didn’t learn to swim or even try. They waited for their men to rescue them and get them to the shore. Some women were lucky for their men were able to bring them to the shore while others were not so lucky for either their men were not there for them, or were not strong enough to bring them to the shore.

However while the women were in the sea they continued to be optimistic that they will be carried to the shore by their men. 

Some knew in their heart that their men might leave them, or that their men may not be strong enough but they were scared to make decisions to secure themselves. So they prayed to God and hoped that they would be guided to the shore to safety. It was best to believe that their destiny will either save them or sink them and they had absolutely no control over it.

How did this story feel?

Now imagine! Imagine a scenario where from a young age parents taught both, their boys and their girls to be responsible for their own lives and let them take their own decisions so that they could be confident and not dependent.

When these boys and girls became men and women and were thrown into the sea they both knew equally well how to swim to safety. They helped each other, guided each other, supported each other, and were there for each other, but each one was confident of their own abilities and skills to reach the shore!

Which of these stories would you like to be a part of? Why? What is the shift in mindset that would help you through the story that you want to be a part of? Are there any skills that you feel you need to acquire? Share your thoughts and comments below.